Ha decidido seguir a Cristo. No vuelta atras.

I haven't made a list.

I haven't made a list yet.

Not a packing list. Not a to-do list. Nothing. I could be doing that now, but no. I leave in 8 days. Since I have taken up procrastination, I have started journaling, taking Daisy on some long walks, read 2 books, done this, ect. ect. ect.

My luggage is just sitting there in the middle of my floor. Lonely.

My 40 days of stresslessness is surprisingly easy. I've been blessed a lot these past few weeks. Without worrying or blowing things out of porportion, I have so much more time to just sit and enjoy little things.

Examples:
Bessie, the stray puppy we found and kept for a weekend
Family dinners, birthday parties,
Birthday cards, especially those that are really really appropriate
Writing letters to God-admitted, this has become kind of an obsession. I have my journal and everytime I feel myself getting stressed, I write him a note asking Him to take my burdens.
Tanning beds on dreary days, for the vitamin D of course
Afternoon naps
snow! then sunshine.
Good books: Currently reading "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World"


The more I get ready for the trip, the more I get homesick for Alto Playon. I remember holding this little girl for 7 hours. She was so so so sick. I don't think she's still alive. She sat there while I took hand sanitzier and baby wipes and cleaned her off so the bugs wouldn't be on her face. This is probably the best memory I have. I think it was burned in my brain. I can still see her and feel how heavy she was when I picked her up. But, it was like a different weight. She shouldn't have been that heavy.

I'm ready to go. 8 days.

Grace and Peace,
jg

Sweet dreams are made of these.

I should be getting ready for church. Sitting on my heating pad writing this is keeping me from it though. Being stressless is surprisingly easy.

I wrote this for our church group the other day:

I’ve always wanted God to come to me in a dream. When I was little, I remember reading my King James Bible (you know, the blue one with the picture of Jesus reading to the kids on the front) praying for an angel of the Lord to “cometh” to me in a dream and “sayeth” something important. I always run to my Bible after I have a weird dream, hoping that I missed a passage about Him coming to plain people. The other night, I dreamed I was a particular young blond country singer with a talent for relating to every teenage girl. I was signing autographs when I saw the most beautiful person in the back. I lost him in the crowd of heart-broken girls who only wished to be fearlessly dragged head-first somewhere. The rest of my dream was spent desperately trying to find this person. (It was one of those journey dreams with all the crazy twists and turns) When I did, he turned out to be a servant for a rich man. The last thing I remember was the look on the rich man’s face as I fell at the feet of his servant boy.

Now, I don’t really think this was God coming to me, however, I do believe there’s a lesson. The servant I was seeking has to be Jesus. It just has to be. Nobody else could ever be that beautiful. I constantly think of him as a savior, friend, or prince, but forget that he knelt down and washed the disciples’ feet. My dream was a reminder that we are called to be imitators of Christ and that’s going to include getting down, getting dirty and washing some feet. He never promised us a fairy tale on earth. We weren’t promised riches and Prince Charmings. We are, however, promised an eternity with him and that’s going to be better than any of my dreams.

Grace and Peace,

jg

Birthday.

So, I'm 21 today. I have four classes and a test. I'm not gonna lie, there's a very small part of me that feels like I'm not celebrating because I won't be drinking. It's like Senior Prom where its so hyped up that you forget what it's all about.

I'd rather be in Panama. Hands down. Long days out in the sun, long nights sitting on front porches talking for hours. I leave in 11 days.

In 21 years I have:
-Been to the 5th Ward of Houston 3 times on mission trips
-Been to Mexico once, City of Children!
-Pensacola mission trip
-Spent a month last summer traveling in the Darien rainforest working with Embera indians.
-Danced at Disney World three times.
-kept a 4.0 in college
-blah blah blah.

I think it's a little boring. I've been happy. I've been blessed far more than I will ever deserve. I'm just ready for a change. I'm ready to put away the idea of "doing what I think I'm supposed to do" and move on to doing what I'm called to do. Take risks for Christ. Have a gentle spirit, boldness, stop doing all the kiddie things...the list goes on. Yea, yea, I think it's time for a change.

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
1 Corinthians 13:11

I think it's time to put away those childish things.

Things to look forward to:
-Panama in 11 days.
-Hopefully interning this summer at the Women's Missionary Union
-Finally FINALLY getting to write stuff that I want.
-No more drama, no no no more drama drama. I think that goes with the turf of getting rid of childish things.

Maybe this will be the year I figure it all out...maybe. Then again, I'm learning (slowly) that part of the beauty of God's plan is enjoying every minute worshiping Him and not knowing what tomorrow holds.

It's today for which we're responsible, God still owns tomorrow. -Elisabeth Elliot

Either way, I think it'll be a very good year.

Grace and Peace,
jg

Lent.

I've decided what I'm giving up for Lent. (I know I'm late. Give me a break, the church of Christ isn't really used to this.)

Stress.

I'm going to give up being stressed out for lent. It doesn't help anything. It just makes you miserable. You do as much as you can in the time that you can and other than that..the world will go on. Now, I've thought about it a lot and I've decided that it's a two-part deal. First, I've made a list of all the things that regularly stress me out. I will not be quitting any of these or working any less hard. I'm simply not going to care if my best happens to not be good enough.

Grades
Work
The Crimson White/Dateline Alabama-I will continue to work as hard as I can. If that's not what you wanted. I don't care.
Dating (I'm a girl. We stress over that stuff.)
Facebook-not really a stressor, just not something that's proactive.
Answering emails/facebook/text messages right away-I thought this was a matter of being polite or not but I've decided that you'll just have to wait.
Politics- Obama is in. There's nothing we can do about it now. I will not be participating in SGA elections. I think it is silly and utterly out of control. I do not care that you have your own web site. Get a life. I don't mean that to be harsh but really, find something better to do than sidewalk chalk your name all over campus. Go make friends. Stop putting your face all over campus. In two weeks, no one will care. No one will know what you do. Really guys, it's getting a little ridiculous.
News- no more news. No more CNN, no more USA Today.

Here's the second part. I'm going to rediscover the simple things in life that keep it from being mundane. We get so weighed down with tasks and homework and this and that and we forget about those little things in life that just make it that much better.

Letters from old friends and my grandmother
Sending out care packages to Auburn and Huntsville
Laughing
Taking walks and more importantly, taking time to just wander around. God made us this beautiful world and I really want to enjoy it more. Homework can wait.
Reading. I'm going to wake up early to read every morning.
Daisy
Spring is coming! Warmer weather. prettier clothes.
Smoothies. I've never really liked them until recently. The caramel one from Smoothie King is totally worth the $6.
Shoes you can play in.
Scrapbooks. I don't like to make them but I have a ton that I love to look through.
Staying up late to talk to friends. Not online. Not on Facebook/gchat/text message. I mean getting up and going to see them and talking. No worries about being tired the next day.
Panamanian Coffee- so much better than Starbucks.

I'm sure you each have your own list and the more I think about it I'm sure I'll add more to this list. Until then, I'm just going to have to suck it up and enjoy the next 40 (Is that how long lent is?) days.

Grace and Peace,
jg

This is what it means to be held

So, this past month God has utterly knocked me down. He did it on purpose, I'm sure. I needed a MASSIVE overhaul makeover from the inside out and getting me down to complete dependence on Him had to be the first step. In a month, He took away most of my relationships and talents. Since then, I've decided to refocus and turn it all over to Him. I've been reading Having a Mary Spirit and it's the most unbelievable book. I believe He really used it to get to me in a woman-to-woman perspective that I can't get from scripture. Elisabeth Elliot once said "It's today for which we're responsible. God still owns tomorrow." That got me thinking. There are so many things that I worry about on a daily basis that just don't matter.

THE LIST OF DAILY CONCERNS:
Class, grades
Crimson White
Dateline Alabama
What I'm going to wear
What I'm going to say to people
Whether or not people like me
Being a good example
The past-relationships, regrets, embarassing moments, ect...
The future
Boys-being a good sister in Christ, dating
Getting it all done
Praying, finding time to talk to Jesus
How I look
Who I'm going to be friends with


I was talking to my cousin the other day and he told me to make a list of everything and then start marking off the ones that don't matter. Rather than marking them off, I'm giving them to Jesus this time. There are somethings I'm still responsible for, though.

THE LIST I STILL HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF:
Finding time to pray
*I completely meant to have this be a longer list but when I went to sort them out..I realized that finding time to be with God is the only thing I really have to take care of. What a wonderful realization!

THE LIST OF WHAT HE'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF:
Grades and classes will take care of themselves. My perfectionism has to go. Making a B will not end the world.

Spending time with Him will take care of being a good sister in Christ. Trusting him will take care of all my boy issues.

The Crimson White and Dateline Alabama- it's easy to get wrapped up in these. I know. I've been through times when that's all I can think about. It's easy to forget that they are just college publications and when the day/week/year is over, they will not matter. I love you all but this has got to take a step down in my list of priorities.

The past and the future- None of it matters. There's nothing we can do about the past and we're not even promised the future. Why worry? He'll take care of His own.

On a different note, I tend to get phrases stuck in my head. A lot like getting a song in your head but it's always just a few words. These days its "No turning back. No turning back." I've been thinking about that for weeks now. It's just plays over and over in my head. I named a blog post that earlier. It's been my gchat and facebook status. I've written in notebooks and planners for no reason. It's from the end of "I have decided to follow Jesus" I've even translated it into spanish-No vuelta atras, no vuelta atras. I think that in all my craziness in the past month, that's the thing God's been trying to drive home. I can leave it all to Him. I can forget about everything tha has happened up until this point. He's forgiven me and that is all that will ever matter. No turning back. No turning back.

Grace and Peace,
jg

No turning back, no turning back.

I'm still skeptical about the whole blogging thing. I think it's conceited to think that you would actually want to read what's in my head. I'm an awful communicator. What makes me qualified to write about anything? The only reason I'm in journalism is so I can talk to people. I'm not good at being authoritative, tough, opiniated, or all of those other things that make people want to read blogs. The more I get into journalism, the more I realize I hate it. I hate the "get the story no matter what" attitude. I hate that we don't report more on people. Real people. Let's talk about them. Let's talk about people that are going to change the world. Let's help them. We can reach the world faster than anyone else. Events are one thing but why should I have to keep my opinion out of something I really believe in?

The guys at UnAshamed. They're awesome. I don't even know them but I love what they're doing. It's amazing. They've got it. They've realized that in the end, we're only here for a little while and building eachother up is the only thing that matters.

It's easy to get wrapped up in newspapers and web sites. You put so much hard work into them. But I'm tired of wasting time doing something that isn't going to make a difference. I'll write about things that make people feel better. The stories of hope. Stories of encouragement. I have better things to do with my time. Loving people. Being there for my brothers and sisters in Christ.

My favorite David Jeremiah quote: "My friend, this is not a time to climb into a white robe, sit on a fence, and get a stiff neck looking up to the sky, waiting for the Lord's return. This is a time to get busy for God. Use the powers of energy and gifting he gives you. Maximize the time. Cash in on opportuntities. One of the most simple objectives of a Christin is not only to go to heaven but to take as many people with you as you can! Share the gospel, teach the children, build up the weak, strengthen the faltering, encourage the fallen, and reach a strong hand to those who are hurting. In every good work," occupy till I come," said the Lord."

So, I'm tried of wasting time writing about things that will fade. Let's write about the eternal. Let's show His mercy to everyone we come in contact with.

Grace and Peace,
Jessie

I've been working on my new story about UnAshamed at Capstone Church on Thursday nights. I went for the first time on Thursday and was completely blown away by the number of people there! I couldn't even get close enough to take a decent picture. According to the people who started it, there are approximately 600 people there each Thursday. The worship was awesome though. The guys that put it together really have a passion for it and it shows through in everything they do.

I plan on going back from now on!

Grace and Peace,
jg