If you reach wrists up at something scared, it will subconsciously know you won’t hurt it. That’s what body language experts say at least. I’ve learned a lot in the two years since I last wrote in here. I hope you don’t read any of my senior year foolishness. I was a dummy then. I’m a dummy now. I’ve learned a few things about how to relate to people, but I’m still learning daily. In a recent conversation, I tried to explain my daily theology about how I think of people, and quite frankly, I butchered it completely. I do better with words on paper than I do with talking. I always have.
Here’s what I’ve learned. Here’s what I strive for. I fail daily. I fail hourly.
I want to make my home, my life, my heart and my reporter’s notebook a safe place for people to land. People are scared of other people. We’re cynical and we’re broken. Reach at people wrists up. Show them you’re not scared of getting hurt.
It is not, nor will it ever be, my job to fix everything.
When someone does let you into their little world, you have a simple task: Magnify the good, minimize the hurt and treat past wounds with care. You won’t fix them. You can’t fix them. You can only be cautious and patient as time heals them.
If you can’t take away their pain, bear it with them. A few weeks ago I had ringworm. I got it from a little girl I teach ballet to. My arm was disgusting, but I secretly loved it. It didn’t make her pain any less, but for a little while, I knew how she felt. There are few painful situations I can relate to. I’ve been blessed. I’ve never been hungry. But I’ve had ringworm. It itches. She itches. I still look at my arm where I had it.
Have a warm bed for the tired to rest. Have at least one meal you can fix for the hungry to eat.
Always carry enough cash to give a homeless person a meal. (Sorry about messing that one up today, homeless man I met in Chattanooga. You'll be fed, but you're going to have to get it off of the dollar menu.)
Don’t change anyone. They’re that way for a reason. It’s not your place to figure out why.
Remember the little things that people like. If they tell you their favorite color, remember it. If they tell you a TV show they love, remember it. You’ll need to pull on those little bits of information if you want to love on them.
Buy presents first, figure out how to pay for them later. I have no idea how I’m going to pay for my first semester of grad school. No clue. I spent too much on ballet costumes, gifts, cards and mail. It was irresponsible, but I wouldn’t do it any differently if I could start over. Act first then figure out the details later.
Send cards.
My Daddy always said to be ten-feet-tall and bulletproof. I’m more sure of that now than I ever was. I don’t think he means to not let anyone hurt you, I just think it means to heal fast. In all, I matter less than you. And you. I’ll be fine. I heal fast. I have a good doctor. I’m grounded in family and Alabama roots. If I get hurt helping someone else, it doesn’t matter. If there’s one thing I’ve learned above all else, it’s that I’ll be OK. Now let’s make you OK.
Maybe I’m being too emotional. Maybe I’m being passive aggressive. Isn’t everyone with a blog secretly being passive aggressive? I should just tell people I want to know this so they can keep me accountable. This is a list of goals, not a list of accomplishments. Maybe I’ll keep them better here than in a running list in my head.
