So, this past month God has utterly knocked me down. He did it on purpose, I'm sure. I needed a MASSIVE overhaul makeover from the inside out and getting me down to complete dependence on Him had to be the first step. In a month, He took away most of my relationships and talents. Since then, I've decided to refocus and turn it all over to Him. I've been reading Having a Mary Spirit and it's the most unbelievable book. I believe He really used it to get to me in a woman-to-woman perspective that I can't get from scripture. Elisabeth Elliot once said "It's today for which we're responsible. God still owns tomorrow." That got me thinking. There are so many things that I worry about on a daily basis that just don't matter.
THE LIST OF DAILY CONCERNS:
Class, grades
Crimson White
Dateline Alabama
What I'm going to wear
What I'm going to say to people
Whether or not people like me
Being a good example
The past-relationships, regrets, embarassing moments, ect...
The future
Boys-being a good sister in Christ, dating
Getting it all done
Praying, finding time to talk to Jesus
How I look
Who I'm going to be friends with
I was talking to my cousin the other day and he told me to make a list of everything and then start marking off the ones that don't matter. Rather than marking them off, I'm giving them to Jesus this time. There are somethings I'm still responsible for, though.
THE LIST I STILL HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF:
Finding time to pray
*I completely meant to have this be a longer list but when I went to sort them out..I realized that finding time to be with God is the only thing I really have to take care of. What a wonderful realization!
THE LIST OF WHAT HE'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF:
Grades and classes will take care of themselves. My perfectionism has to go. Making a B will not end the world.
Spending time with Him will take care of being a good sister in Christ. Trusting him will take care of all my boy issues.
The Crimson White and Dateline Alabama- it's easy to get wrapped up in these. I know. I've been through times when that's all I can think about. It's easy to forget that they are just college publications and when the day/week/year is over, they will not matter. I love you all but this has got to take a step down in my list of priorities.
The past and the future- None of it matters. There's nothing we can do about the past and we're not even promised the future. Why worry? He'll take care of His own.
On a different note, I tend to get phrases stuck in my head. A lot like getting a song in your head but it's always just a few words. These days its "No turning back. No turning back." I've been thinking about that for weeks now. It's just plays over and over in my head. I named a blog post that earlier. It's been my gchat and facebook status. I've written in notebooks and planners for no reason. It's from the end of "I have decided to follow Jesus" I've even translated it into spanish-No vuelta atras, no vuelta atras. I think that in all my craziness in the past month, that's the thing God's been trying to drive home. I can leave it all to Him. I can forget about everything tha has happened up until this point. He's forgiven me and that is all that will ever matter. No turning back. No turning back.
Grace and Peace,
jg
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