Sunday, July 19, 2009

In queso emergency...

Every editor keeps telling me I need to blog more. So, here goes.

When I was about 15, I made this promise to break the stereotype of the "good girl." I mean, I loved dancing on stage in next-to-nothing. I loved the rhinestones, the wild songs, the dark tans, tons of makeup, and that just doesn't fit into what a good little Church of Christ girl looked like. (Are we even allowed to dance?) So, I decided to break that. Now, some girls do the same thing but they try all that black makeup "I dont' care what anyone else thinks" look. No, no. That wasn't me either.

I have a few things I will fight for.
1. I'm going to be a virgin when I get married. This has lead to heartache after heartache. I knew that. I know it more, now. I expect to hear "Really? You don't look like a virgin" on every third date. It doesn't make dating easier, but it's simply not up for debate. Consequently, I'm incredibly comfortable talking about it.
2. I didn't drink until I was 21. I will not be getting drunk (on purpose) with anyone anytime soon. I'm just not. Don't ask. It's not ladylike.
3. I'm a die-hard conservative. I'm pro-life, probably more than anyone else you know. I don't believe in gay marriage. I support our troops and whatever they have to do to save our country. America first. If you mess with the land our grandfathers made, I want to shoot you. If you don't like that, I don't care. Church, too. I do think women should keep silent. I think they should be submissive. I want to be independent, self-sufficient, and driven, but when I get married...my husband will have the final say. (If you read that passage, you know that good men love their wives enough to make them happy no matter what). I don't think it's best to argue with the keeper of our souls.
4. If I swear, you better know I'm mad.
5. I'm not afraid of global warming. God told us he wouldn't destroy the world with water again, so why are all these Christians afraid of flooding? I generally don't like environmentalists. I think it's silly.
6. Jesus Christ saved my soul. I might not look like the typical knee-length-skirt wearing good girl, but I've seen Him face-to-face and there is no turning back now. I've held dying babies in Panama. I've held a little girl during her last day on earth. I've talked to 12 year olds that have been raped by their uncles. I've held hands with the homeless.

So, that brings me back to my goal: to break the stereotype of the good girl. Of all my many blessings- they outnumber what any human should ever have- I thank God for my friends. A set of girls that are so beautiful and passionate in everything they do, that it reminds me daily that being a good girl doesn't have to be confined to tankinis, fake kindness, and all-girl movie nights. We go back, all the way back to the SVS days when our dance teachers taught us to "walk into everything like we know what we're doing," and made us walk endlessly up and down the halls in 4 inch heels until we could walk without falling. (This was in middleschool, too!)

THese girls remind me that:
1. Being a girl is a lost art. Sitting with your ankles crossed, hands folded in your lap, and making eye-contact is powerful. Pearls are perfect in all situations. A southern accent will get you out of so so so many troubles.
2. BCBG Stilettos are what I'm most comfortable in. People always say "wear what makes you comfortable," and they're usually talking about an excuse to wear something weird. But maybe I'm more comfortable in a floral dress and heels? Or a good pair of Levis and a lacy top and pearls. Heels make your butt look better, they just do. And I'm talking no less than 4 inches or why bother? Looks do matter. It's how the world sees you. So make that work in your advantage.
3. They don't agree with me on everything. Especially the political stuff, but they remind me daily to fight for whatever it is that I do believe. I encourage them to do the same. This world wasn't cut out for the wishy-washy. Mark my words, if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
4. They're the leaders of tough-love. They're the ones that will hit me or send me a text message saying "run" if I'm on a weird date. They're always right, too. Always. One day, I'll meet a boy that Kari likes and I'll probably do anything to keep him. She'll know, I bet. To date: she hasn't liked one yet.
5 They remind me that different isn't really good. That fake-nice isn't what being a good girl is really about. Loyalty is. Trustworthiness is. Wholesomeness is. When I become obsessed with an idea: wholesomeness, for example, they're the ones that go with it whole-heartedly.
6. They're the ones that remind me to have standards. Our mothers raised us to be well-rounded, driven, independent women and lowering my standards is like a slap in the face. They remind me to not accept text messages over phone calls, to not forgive drunken conversations, and to be picky. They remind me not to fall in love, because they know I'll let that get in my way. They know my past and remind me of all my many many mistakes that happened when I settled for less than what I deserved. THey remind me that I'm not going to change anyone. That "mission dating" isn't worth it, and that someone's place in heaven isn't dependent on me. If it's not good, if you're not happy, you will never be happy. It will not work. Cry for one night, then move on.

As I keep on my mission, I'll undoubtedly learn more. Maybe I'll finally learn to stop competing with people for no reason other than just to win. Maybe I'll learn to keep my mouth shut. Maybe not. Either way, I know those girls will be the ones to remind me that I'm tougher than I thought. They're prettier than your friends, I guarantee. They can walk better in heels, and have probably flirted with your boyfriend. In one year, I'll be chasing down some crazy dream. I'll be moving, and those girls, the closest things I've ever had to sisters, will be the only ones following. I'll forget about the college friends; I won't remember the bad dates.

Left Side will stay. Just watch.
I've been blessed with family, and I hope I remind them to "walk the walk" too.
Grace and Peace,
jg

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