Monday, July 20, 2009

The Third Paragraph boys.

I often write about boys, but the thing is, every other aspect of my life has been so richly blessed. You have to understand- I have been given more things than any one person should ever have. Family, friends, a good upbringing, unshakable faith, the opportunity to go into the world and see His creation, opportunities to study and work and do something I love every single day, His forgiveness daily, hope of glory, ect. I think complaining at all would be a sin for me, but my craziness in dating at least gives me a conversation topic. I'm positive this is how God continually reminds me of my full dependence on Him. So, amid my gratefulness, I am reminded to come daily to Him with any and all of my concerns.

So every night, I write a letter to God. I mean a real letter. In a moleskin notebook (someone wise once told me those were the best and it's true). Each letter is signed and dated with appropriate greetings and closings. Very proper. Sometimes I think that if Hemmingway or Faulkner were going to write letters to God, they would do them this way. I like to think that at least. Each one has a specific layout, too. If you're going to write the keeper of your soul, you should probably have good penmenship, too. We don't want any typos.

Paragraph 1: Thanksgiving. A reminder that the problems in the rest of the letter will always always always come after my gratitude for salvation and the daily blessing of enjoying His creation. This paragraph also includes a little bit about my day..incase He missed something. Or sometimes the things I'm most excited about that day. Like Paul used to open up his letters, first there was the little greeting to those in Corinth, ect., then there was the meat and bones of the matter. The good stuff.

Paragraph 2: Personal stuff. Things I'd like to change about myself. Things I've done wrong in the past 24 hours. (You'd be amazed how much this is!) Usually includes patience, gracefulness and a prayer for Jesus Christ himself to come put his hand over my mouth when I should stop talking. Wouldn't that be nice? Or a little reminder when my redheaded temper flares up again. That in itsself keeps me in all kinds of trouble.

Paragraph 3:Friends. Here's where my third paragraph boys come in. As I was writing yesterday, I realized that every third paragraph looks the same.

"Father, please be with (boy I'm currently dating at the time's name) and let him come to know you. Help him to be the man you want him to be.I know he can be better, Lord, if he just calls to you."

Every single time.
Of course these third paragraph boys never work out. I know going into it that they won't. If hanging around a Sunday-morning Christian is the best I can do, well, I'd rather be in the mission field alone. After all, mission dating NEVER works.
It makes me wonder, if I can look back on all my old entries and be so happy that whatever I was praying for didn't come true (think that old country song "Unanswered Prayers" type stuff) will I look back on this and be happy? Will I one day meet someone that doesn't fall into the third paragraph? That maybe even makes it to the first paragraph because of his undying faith? Or that is so driven to serve the Lord that I have to follow? I think so. Or at least I'm not giving up yet.

So, until the day that a find myself writing to God about someone in the first paragraph, it's just random happenings. It'll be worth it, though. I'm a die-hard realist, but I'm not giving up hope here.

Right now, it's just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away. I still love that song.

No more cold iron shackles on my feet...

Grace and Peace,
jg

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